Posted by jwriley in Grace Notes on 20. Nov, 2009 | No Comments
Living in Thanksgiving—
Just some random thoughts about Thanksgiving—
A year or so before Ike, we placed a bare tree limb in the chapel. In a nearby box were autumn-colored paper leaves and hangers. We asked visitors to the chapel to write a “thanksgiving” on a leaf and hang it on the tree. By the time Thanksgiving came, the tree was no longer bare, and held some profound and dear expressions of Thanksgiving.
Often Thanksgiving comes out of abundance. But many of these expressions came out of scarcity, distress, or illness—things like:
That my sick infant smiled today for the first time in a week.
That my son is home safe from Iraq.
That we received a basket from St. Vincent’s and will have Thanksgiving dinner.
I am reminded of the words from the prophet Habakkuk:
17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior. (New International Version)
In this second season of Thanksgiving after Ike, whether in abundance or scarcity, I invite us all to live in Thanksgiving.
As I have been adding more entries to our new Pastoral Care blog, I have been more aware of websites that provide inspiration for me. For this article I wanted to share some with you.
I hear staff express gratitude for their jobs. Families and patients speak words of gratitude for nurses, doctors, and that UTMB is back open. This website was helpful to me. You can also sign up for a daily gratefulness quote. A recent quote was:
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I’ve learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.
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Martha Washington
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www.gratefulness.org
As my husband and I drive into work, the radio morning show helps to wake us. I heard this website on the radio—and found the articles encouraging. I hope to return to the site from time to time.
http://www.thehighcalling.org/
www.values.com
This website I heard on a television commercial. You may have seen the commercials and billboards.
Where do you find your encouragement?
Kathy Ozenberger, Chaplain II
The voices sang out loud and clear;
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to the World
Happy birthday to you.
This was part of the children’s service for Rosh Hashanah – the Jewish New Year which Jews around the world celebrated this month. Traditionally these days are considered the ‘world’s birthday’ – when God began the seven days of creation. They are also the beginning of the ten days of atonement culminating on Yom Kippur -the holiest day of the Jewish year. The New Year is a time of rejoicing, of good cheers and best wishes, as well as a time of introspection and repentance. We eat lots of good food and sweet cakes, but we also sound the Shofar, the ram’s horn, to remind us before whom we pray and ask forgiveness.
But we not only ask forgiveness for our sins against God. Our scholars teach that no man will be forgiven by God until he has made amends to those people he has wronged during the year. Then, on Yom Kippur while we abstain from all food and drink for 24 hours, we pray that God will write us in the book of life. Yet we know that on that day that it is decreed who during the coming year “will live and who will die, who will prosper and who will be destitute, who will be healthy and who will be sick, and who will be happy and who will be tormented.”
Judaism has become a mainstream religion in America over the past half century. This is the first time in the long history of our people that we are wholeheartedly accepted by our neighbors. In this environment we have flourished. Thus, although we may have to stay home from school and work on these days, we know that our friends and colleagues accept our absence and respect our traditions. Unfortunately, all Americans know that the people who perpetrated the attacks on 9/11 have not yet been defeated. So at every synagogue there is a police presence and most Jews must pass through metal detectors before entering their house of worship.
During the services there are prayers for the United States of America, its leaders and soldiers. There are also prayers for the state of Israel. Children learn from their parents that we must never forget those in our society less fortunate than ourselves. On the fast day of Yom Kippur everyone is asked to bring a donation of canned goods for the local food bank. The Rabbis mandated that even those receiving charity have an obligation to give a portion to others in need. For it is only through Prayers, Good Deeds and Charity that any evil decree be changed.
Every holiday when I walk into synagogue with my family I whisper a prayer of thanksgiving that I was lucky enough to be born an American Jew living in freedom and friendship with all of my neighbors. Let me end with the traditional Rosh Hashanah salutation: May you be written in the book of life.
Happy New Year.
Marvin Cohen, MD
About a week ago, I ran into John Riley in the hospital and he asked about Ramadan and my family. In talking about our family’s observance, I mentioned some of the challenges of meeting religious obligations and still being active in the community and with our children’s activities. He invited me to write this blog about this topic.
As you may know, we are in our final week of the month-long observance (and celebration) of Ramadan. Briefly, Ramadan is the ninth month of the Islamic calendar. Fasting during Ramadan is one of the 5 Pillars of Islam. During this month, each day, Muslims do not eat or drink while the sun is up (dawn to sunset). The fast includes no liquids as well as no food. Further, Ramadan does not occur at the same time each year. Every year, Ramadan begins 11 days earlier due to the Islamic calendar being a lunar calendar. In 2010 it will begin in mid-August, but in 2015, it will begin in the middle of June. Children are not required to fast till they have entered puberty (age 12-13 yrs). Similar to prayers, if fasting becomes a hardship, there are accepted excuses from fasting including health indications, travel, elderly, and pregnant and nursing women. Muslims are expected to make up missed days when they can. If this is not possible, then they must instead arrange to feed two deserving persons for each day missed.
When a Muslim takes an “excuse” from fasting it is really up to the individual and his/her conscience. For instance, when traveling for an out-of-town conference, I could take an exemption and make up the days at a later date. On the other hand, I could continue to observe the fast. Some of the things I would take into consideration include the ability to perform the fast, the availability of meals after sunset and before dawn, and safety. For this last item, safety when driving a car, safety for personal health, and safety of others when performing your job are all important considerations.
Further, fasting in the USA is a much different experience than fasting in an Islamic country, like Egypt. In Egypt, since most of the society is observing fasting, the whole society makes changes to accommodate everyone! Schools finish early and try not to have major exams during the month. At work, the schedules change with everyone leaving early in the afternoon. I can tell you that hospitals would not do elective surgeries in the late afternoon and before sunset. Many people lie down for a period of time prior to sunset. (I try to do this on weekends when not working, if I can!) On the flip side, after sunset, the society comes alive and everyone stays up late.
These challenges are especially poignant when trying to continue with family activities and observing the fast. Many a weekday night, either my wife or I or both have had to break fast on the run at an activity – including school parent nights and open houses, sports’ practices, and scouting meetings and events.
Similar to my challenges of fasting and working, teenagers have to balance school, sports, and other activities with the obligations of fasting. Unlike an Islamic country where sports practices and other activities are rescheduled to after sunset or postponed for the month, this does not occur here in the US.
Balancing the benefits of participating in these activities and the “cost” of not fasting during Ramadan is a constant process within families. The final decisions is regulated by the individual conscience, and in real life, a spectrum of practices exists among Muslims.
For our family, we constantly struggle with this dilemma: how to let our children have the opportunities available while instilling in them faith and meeting religious obligations. Further, although there are 5 Pillars of Islam which organizes the major obligations, we agree very strongly with the following statement: “Every action performed in obedience to God’s guidance or in order to please Him is considered an act of worship in Islam”. Thus helping someone with their homework, greeting a stranger, or being respectful to an elder are at the same time acts of worship which earn spiritual reward. We go further and believe it is our duty to God to show our fellow Americans that one can be a good Muslim and a good American. Therefore, we feel that during Ramadan, we need to continue with activities, e.g., coaching a soccer team, running a den meeting, and helping out at school.
Why then do we have any angst about fasting? As a family, we feel very strongly about the importance of fasting and have instilled this belief in our family. But we are also realistic. For instance, we understand that if our son has a major exam in the afternoon, he will have to struggle while fasting with (1) studying in the days before the exam, and (2) concentrating in the afternoon. On top of that, because of the time of sunset (currently around 7:45 pm) and dawn (5:45 am), the opportunity to sleep more than 7 hours straight is almost impossible. For a teenager, this is a form of sleep deprivation! (Hence, naps in the afternoon are wonderful!) So we become realistic during the school year. This does not mean that we simply say, “Don’t fast during school,” but on the other hand, we encourage fasting but also understand when our son(s) make an individual decision about when he cannot fast.
What is even a harder decision is the challenge of sports and other activities (like marching band) and fasting. For the next 5 years, Ramadan will overlap with August for some days. For families with teenagers in competitive sports, especially football, fasting is not possible with playing the sport. For a teenager entering 9th grade, this means a choice of missing out on football during his whole high school career or observing fasting. Similarly, marching band begins outdoor practices in early August. Again, in Houston, participating is not physically safe if one is fasting. One could consider these truly a once in a lifetime opportunities. (These are only two of many examples.)
The challenge for parents is to work with our teenagers in understanding the issues. The last thing we want to do is to build resentment in our teenager by “forcing” them to fast.
In fact, this is impossible. One cannot be forced to fast. If a person wants to “cheat”, there is nothing another person can do about it. As we explain to our children, God will know. So in order to be able to fast, a person must want to.
Now back to the dilemma. The final decision ultimately becomes the teenager’s. As parents, we try to be understanding, coaching, guiding but also realistic. God has already ordained that fasting during Ramadan should not be considered a hardship. It is OK for it to be “hard” – that is the definition of a sacrifice – but not a hardship.
Do understand that for a Muslim, fasting during Ramadan is a way to worship God and is done to please Him. At the end of a fasting day, I can truly say that I feel that I have accomplished a hard task. My self-esteem is higher. I have proven that I have self-discipline. Further, doing so, while still living my life and being involved in activities and work, makes me feel that I can overcome any of my many daily challenges.
I know this is also true for my children. My oldest, who is now 13 years old and is obligated to fast, has literally grown up in front our eyes this year. He is making his decisions about fasting. He is learning that he can go to school and fast. He can go to Taekwondo and fast. He may have to give up tennis for this month but he can still live his life and fast. And he makes his own decision each night if he will fast the next day. And when he breaks fast in the evening, he clearly has a sense of accomplishment and a higher self-esteem. He walks taller and straighter. And finally he does not resent his religion and faith. He embraces it. Thank God.
Amr Abouleish, MD
For some additional information about Islam and readings that can be used in an interfaith service, please see my resource that I developed for scouts. http://www.boyscouters.org/bayshore/resources/reverent/Islamic.pdf
Welcome
Welcome to this new blog format of our Website.
I guess, if you have read the first sentence, that you have figured out that Pastoral Care is still a part of UTMB. When Kathy Ozenberger and I were invited to stay, and knowing that at least for a while it will be only the two of us, we began thinking of ways we could extend our outreach to the UTMB community. One of those ways we imagined was this blog. We hope, not only to have current information available about our department and services, but we also hope to write and invite others to write words of inspiration and hope in the midst of our life and transitions together in the workplace.
You will also notice that we have one section for acknowledging the multi-faith community in which we live by publishing a calendar of celebrations from several faith groups. We also hope, in the future, to include insight and information from persons within UTMB who are in various faith communities.
Kathy and I hope you will enjoy this format. We are even bold enough to think that some of you will want to subscribe. We hope that you will let us know of ways we can best serve your spiritual needs through this method of communication and sharing.
Grace and peace,
John W. Riley
Director, Pastoral Care
